When a kid has been caught stealing, a parent's reaction must depend on whether it's the first time or there's a pattern of that.
With very youngs children, parents must to help them understand that stealing is wrong and bad — that when you take something without paying or asking for it, it hurts some else. If preschooler take a candy, for instance, parents need help the child take back the item. If the child has already eaten the candy, parents can take the child back to the store to apologize and pay for it.
With school-age kids, too, it's important to return the stolen item. By the first and second grades, kids should know stealing is wrong. But they may need a better understanding of the consequences.
Here's an example: If a child comes home with a friend's bracelet and it's clear the child took it without the friend's permission, the parent should talk to the child about how it would feel if a friend took something without asking first. The parent should encourage the child to call the friend to apologize, explain what happened, and promise to return it. If your child has no remorse and doesn’t see why it's wrong to steal, seek help from a mental health professional right away.
When teens steal, it's recommended that parents follow through with stricter consequences. For example, when a teen is caught stealing, the parent can take the teen back to the store and meet with the security department to explain and apologize for what happened. The embarrassment of facing up to what he or she did by having to return a stolen item makes for an everlasting lesson on why stealing is wrong.
If it's a first-time offense, some stores and businesses may accept an apology and not necessarily press charges. However, some stores press charges the first time around. And there's often little sympathy for repeat offenders.
Further punishment, particularly physical punishment, is not necessary and could make a child or teen angry and more likely to engage in even worse behavior.
Kids of all ages need to know that shoplifting isn't just about taking things from a store — it's taking money from the people who run the businesses. Plus, shoplifting makes prices higher for other customers. They should also know that stealing is a crime and can lead to consequences far worse than being grounded, including juvenile detention centers and even prison.
If stealing money from a parent, the child should be offered options for paying back the money, like doing extra chores around the house. It's important, however, that a parent not bait the child by leaving out money in the hopes of catching the child in the act. That could damage the sense of trust between parents and kids
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